Bleeding Twenties

Are you currently in your twenties? Do you remember what it felt like to be twenty.

It’s a hard place this world can be, no wonder a baby cries coming in to it. Yeah, tears are from the start.

It is even harder being in your twenties.

How do I tell this child that the first cry is a symbol of endless trauma and confusion as he journeys through the cold arms of fate?

And then how do I tell him that a time is coming when he will have to feel tiny and an unimportant piece of an infinitely complex puzzle and that his achievements won’t really mean much in the grand scheme of things?

Exactly how do I tell him that hell is not a pit of fire and brimstone but waking up alone, the sheets wet with tears and knowing very well you are not allowed to crumble because others are counting on you?

So many puzzles that involve your physical security, mental well-being and your spiritual serenity.

All we sure of is us being uneasy about the potential harm that might come your way. I just can’t help it but think of one thing to tell this child that if tears have lost the ability to hide your pain, then it’s pointless shedding them.

We all have guilty pleasures and me being twenty is my ultimate guilty pleasure I guess that is why I cried the first day I turned twenty years of age.

I thought twenty is fun, I mean I anticipated my twenty being full of life but what my twenties brought me, mmmh I can’t even begin to spill my guts.

Each thought of going to bed when I see the sun set gives me nothing but a feeling of despair and pain. Damn! It was at twenty that I found out I have one faithful accomplice; my depression no wonder I kept coming back to it.

Society doesn’t give a damn about anyone, Society is selfish, Society lies, Society backstabs, Society turns our software into hardwares, Society fakes everything, and Society gives no heads up on how life will mess you up.

All society cares about is the end product, what you bring to the table. Society expects you to put your head up and brush off things like nothing really matters.

Society has created robots that are covered in human flesh.

Just when you thought life would be better when you are older, society hits you with a series of passcodes to choose from as entry to life at twenty.

No age is as scary as the roaring twenties but as always nobody will tell you that. You know what the painful part of everything is?

That you have to figure out your twenties in the midst of terror, heartbreaks, rejections, peer pressure, depression, hatred, jealousy, lies and like it is even the close people you supposed to look up to.

They seem older but still have never figured out their twenties.

I guess they skipped that phase, sorry to say nobody ever leaves club 20, it’s like an initiation and everything that comes with it.

Laid out before you are the almost never ending potentialities of your life and you can’t fathom how you will ever be able to choose between them.

With each choice that you make you feel as though many other possibilities are swept aside never to be realized, and this makes you anxious about making the right decisions.

You have plenty to say but you are not sure how to say it.

You want to stand up and make your voice heard but you scared of how society will see and judge you.

Being in your roaring twenties makes you nervous about finding your voice.

Wherever you are on your journey you can’t help but feel that there are pieces of the puzzle

which are still missing or hidden from view.

You sense that there is more to come but you aren’t yet able to see what this may involve.

All you know is that what you have now and what you can see of the future isn’t all that there is.

I don’t know if am wrong.

I can’t tell if it’s too early to feel this way all I know is as am writing this article am currently in my twenties and have no clue whatsoever on what direction to take.

Even if one figures out a way to put his plans into action, you can’t help but feel that time is not on your side.

The weeks, months and years seem to fly by and you sense that you don’t have enough of them left to reach your destination.

 All is left in you is a feeling of intimidation by the scale of change, all I know is the risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision.

It might seem paradoxical to suggest that you are on the right path when you don’t know which direction to head in but by the simple realization that you are lost, you actually begin to find yourself.

It is by reaching this point that you ask all those difficult questions about life.

We all on a journey of discovery so push your preconceptions to one side and open your eyes to the life that awaits you.

The soul which has no fixed purpose in life is lost; to be everywhere is to be nowhere.

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